An Open Letter To Drake // What The F*** Are You Wearing? Stop This S***.

Remember when Drake was borderline queefable?

Remember when Drake was borderline queefable?

Dear Drake,

Drizzy. You do not know me. I do not know you. I really liked ‘So Far Gone’. Every now and again, you drop a hit that gets me hype in the club, twerk up against a wall on a well built brotha, or pumped to do lunges/squats on beat at the gym. I do not know what that ish was with ‘The Weeknd’. I try to ignore that track along with the album cover of you looking like a poorly dressed cat from ’97 in a Versace blouse. Yes. I said blouse. It was mild homo alongside that golden chalice. Chalices went out a while ago. Props to Lil Jon for that movement by the way. Even he put that ish down when it was well and done.

I want to share a few concerns. Who is picking your clothes? Who designed your closet? Are you suffering from some type of blindness? I respect the fact that you decided to single handedly bring back Dada Supreme. Yet, those male gauchos were the biggest misstep I have seen a grown man make in the history of current style since the male jeggings movement started by your boss, Lil Wayne. Thankfully, that went away quietly.

This outfit along with the ‘Nightmare Before Christmas’ socks are asinine. Where did you find that? I know people tap you all time to rock fresh gear and wow the streets. I know someone handles a majority of that work for you given your status and all. One look in the mirror would classify that style choice as a problem from jump. Let us break this down in order of problems coupled with solutions.

Drake looking wack as sh**. Same old stuff.

Drake looking wack as sh**. Same old stuff.

Jodeci Boots
Problem: Wrong Season
Solution: Do not wear that

Dada Supreme Shorts
Problem: Why Nword?
Solution: Light fabric pants or army print khaki shorts

Black and White Striped Socks
Problem: They are about to hit your upper calf
Solution: I mean I do not get the reasoning at all – I am just disappointed in general

Shades aka Eyewear
Problem: They do not fit your face
Solution: Find some that do

Stylist on Set
Problem: They did a horrible job
Solution: Two Years at Parsons or FIT and a solid internship at Billy Reid

Rick Ross
Problem: He knew you looked crazy
Solution: Hire his stylist. He is big as hell and stays laced in proper big man fashion

You see what I am getting at here. Is that a shirt with fire designed up the sides of it? My dude what in the hell are you doing.

I know you are not going to see this note. It just hurts my heart because at first you had that pea coat jawn on with the autumn leaves about five or so years ago. Post that era, you have done everything in your power to dress like a man that woke up high as s***, put on a blindfold, and walked into LL Cool J’s closet during the year of 1998.

Drake, I believe that you can change the way you are repping the style game. With just a few hirings/firings, a 12-step program, or a new selection of friends you can save yourself. You are the running joke of fashion mistakes. You can unmeme yourself by being smart. You do not have to do the work. Hire someone that will. My dude just fix what the hell you have on. This is ridiculous.

We care Drake. Do you?


Urban Socialista aka @msmarypryor

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